"Douse yourself in water and repent!" 1995 // 2014
velma on the streets but daphne in the sheets
This show got really deep fast.
this is like marxist theory of labor jesus CHRIST
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever been a stripper?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever been to a strip club.
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever done porn?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever watched porn.
You’re the reason we exist.
You’re the demand to our supply.
If you disdain sex workers, don’t you dare consume our labor.
As they say in the industry, “People jack off with the left hand and point with the right.”
So I was wondering if anyone else was aware of this but if you hold ”Z” + “C” (“alt” + “C” for mac) this comes up so you can literally post something while you’re in the middle of your dash and you won’t have to open a new tab or go back to the top.
((credit goes to the 3 year old who thought it would be funny to hit my keyboard while she watching me scroll through tumblr))
Holy fucking shit tumblr developers did something actually useful
^and failed to mention it to their users, rendering it useless until accidentally discovered by a toddler
i’ve seen the light
one of his best friends is hermione granger and he’s dating ginny “bat bogey hex” weasley why shouldn’t he be scared of angry women
plus when someone as calm and zen as luna yells at you, you know shits gonna go down
click here to enter into a teenage boys mind
Life is so hard when your best friend is a 9.5/10 and you’re a strong 4 with the right filter and lighting
Punk’s not dead, just sleeping
Sleeping punks is the only photoset theme more precious than sleeping animals.
okay so if harry potter was born in 1980, and went to hogwarts in like 91, that means he was in his sixth year in 1996
do you think he knew about the spice girls? i mean.. i know he had shit going on with horcruxes that year but wannabe isn’t something that happens without you taking note of it
My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..
What’s next pizza delivery hitmen